Oh, 2008. I hated you.
My boyfriend got jumped and beaten up, resulting in a broken orbital bone and scratched cornea; I missed a week of work taking care of him. I guess when your friend hands you a loretab in the bathroom of a bar after you took eight shots of hard liquor, you turn into quite an asshole. Guess what, you deserved it. I mourned the loss of my grandmother, the last of any living extended family that I had. I did too much ecstasy at a Boyz Noise/MSTRKRFT show in Toronto and swore off drugs for the rest of my life. I decided I wanted to run away to London for graduate school in Human Rights – I applied to approximately 8 schools, got into about 7. I sent in my $1,000 non-refundable deposit to Kingston University, quit my plush job as a legal assistant and moved home for the summer to save money. Boyfriend convinced me to defer for a year so that we could go to London together, stay in love and be as one forever. Two weeks after I send my request for deferral, we break up. After two years of dating. Apparently girls who wear ten pounds of make-up are more fascinating than me. It’s okay, really. Your weight gain, shitty attitude, fucked up friends, drug use and the fact you could not graduate from college after five years was making me seriously abhor the sight of you. I can say in all seriousness that I hope you drop dead. Soon.
I moved to Seattle to get over my heartbreak, hang out with my older brother and hopefully find a job. I dropped down to 98 pounds but thankfully am back to a healthy 108. Did not find a job but rekindled my affair with hard alcohol and dancing, re- discovered my penchant for living life to the fullest and found an ex-cop bouncer with a girlfriend and banging another girl on the side. Three months later and he’s in love, avec moi. I went through three blogs, including this one. I deleted all entries from 2008, as I want to forget the year ever occurred. I went to a Seahawks game with my ex cop bouncer’s father and got so drunk off of Bud Light that he had to carry me out. Classy. While my choice of candidates won the presidential election, the economy continues to slide into oblivion, taking with it any hopes at securing the 40k in loans I need for London in the Fall, much less landing a decent paying job.
I fell in love with thigh high socks from American Apparel, Malibu and Sprite, StartingOverat24.blogspot.com, MGMT, Shiny Toy Guns, the city of Seattle, GoFugYourself.Com and Etsy.com.
I made some new friends, lost some old friends. I have no regrets about the "friends" I lost. I learned not to give my number out at a bar while stumbling drunk, they will call/text incessantly. For three months after, even if you never respond. Most of all, I learned that the cliche "life is too short" is 100% true.
Enter 2009. On Thursday I’m moving back home across the country, taking a paralegal certification course and resuming my position as the customer service expert at my local Home Depot, using a computer system that has not been updated since 1985. I cannot wait to hear the wonderful personal questions from customers yet again, ranging from "are you old enough to work here?," "what high school do you go to?" and of course, "is there a man that could help me with this?" Yes assholes, I am old enough to work here, I have my bachelor's degree which I'm guessing is something you have not yet or ever will earn and I may be tiny but I can answer your questions about home improvement better than any man in the store. I am toying with the idea of maintaining a long-distance relationship from thousands of miles away with my darling ex-cop bouncer. I will throw myself into studying for the LSAT and dream of once again moving out of my parents’ house, hopefully before the celebration of my twenty fourth year of existence in October.
Resolutions? I'll save that for another time.
0 comments:
Post a Comment